Emi (anbaricspider) wrote in intergender,

Since I didn't get to ramble on -c natan about this...

...I'll post here :)
Apologies in advance--I'm sure I'm going to end up repeating some things that were said over zephyr for the sake of context and general flow...

I've always felt that social expectations and stereotypes for female and male behavoir were terribly artificial and only served to unnecessarily divide people and obscure social interactions. I'm much more comfortable around people who aren't trying hard to be male or female and who are just...people. Much simpler and more logical. I feel like that's what happens when people didn't let societal expectations define their character and just live.

I'm an odd mix of characteristics myself. I'm not a tomboy, but I'm not distinctly feminine either--I've always thought of myself as a person first. My stubborn idealism defines me more than anything else. Maybe that wonder and desire to dream makes me childlike, and because children don't have a distinct sense of gender, neither do I. It's not that I've been actively rebelling against stereotypes; it's just that my self-identity formed independent to these exaggerations over the years. For a long time I thought no one could ever live out these stereotypes, but...well...sure, such people do exist and are a little disturbing at times. (I think my naivete stemmed from the fact that I've always read more fiction, so I saw all books and movies as fiction in general, never fully trusting their takes on reality but rather latching onto broader concepts and ideas. I figured any exaggerated stereotypes were meant to make a literary point rather than faithfully depict human behavoir.)

Another thing that always bothered me is how society makes such a big deal out of the difference between genders--ie the whole "women will never understand men" and vice versa. I'd say other people are hard to understand because they're outside of your own mind, and because it's hard to understand oneself in the first place. There is no need to blame gender for the gap in understanding--that's just an excuse to stop trying. I feel about this issue the same way I feel about the existence of free will; it's sort of a moot question, because in order to function in life you have to operate as though it's true. You must assume free will exists, and, likewise, you have to operate as though it is possible to understand others to some arbitrary degree.
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