adrimegp_eetyl (adrimegp_eetyl) wrote in intergender,

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New around here, and I just want to tell a little bit about myself...

Hi, my name is AdriMeg, and I just signed up to LiveJournal last weekend. I am a 31-year-old bigendered, bio-male gynephile. I've known since about the age of 3 that I was not just a boy, or just a girl, but that I was both (at least, deep down I did). I found out about this community (and, in fact, LiveJournal in general) by Googling the word 'bigendered,' and here I am. I'm glad that there's a place where people like me can express themselves and be with others who understand and are accepting. I've been crossdressing (or, underdressing: only women's underwear and jeans that are not too girly except tight across the bottom) for about seven years now. I plan on buying more girl clothes when I get my economic stimulus check in May. I was never much into Bowie, the Cure, or any artists like that, but Marilyn Manson's Mechanical Animals is my all-time favorite "listen-when-you're-pissed-off-and-angry-at-the-world" album. I like how Marilyn presents himself and the lyrics in his songs. I also consider myself intergendered, and I will be posting in both the bigender AND intergender communities here on LiveJournal. As far as I understand it, intergendered means to be both a man and a woman simultaneously, yet the representation usually mixes together, and intergendered people might consider themselves to be neither man nor woman. Bigendered, on the other hand, seems to mean to be both a man and a woman, but the representation often switches back and forth. It's like the difference between a synthesis (intergendered) and a hybrid (bigendered), I guess. If I could call myself anything that describes my identity in the most comprehensive way possible, it would be "interbigendered." In fact, I made a little diagram in Photoshop that's a sort of 'gender map' for me personally, and I posted it here under the cut, along with a little explanation of what it means:
             Gender Map

(The top part of the 'map,' with the blue and pink arcs, represents the bigendered part of my personality. The further up you go on the 'map,' the more exclusively male or female I become depending on what side of the 'map' you're looking at, left or right. As you move downward, these two arcs join and blend into one another, to form the purple intergendered part of my personality. At the end of that, I'm really the opposite or inverse of what the world would consider to be a gendered state of human beingness. This is represented by the green, yellow, and orange line perpendicular to the purple intergendered line on the 'map.' The different colors of the line represent any of the many modes of identity or personality I could inhabit or cycle through as an individual trying to express itself in this world. When you go down far enough to reach the end of that, you reach the root of me (my individuality, or ego), which is the most fundamental, deep, and important part of myself. So, this 'map' represents all of the multi-various aspects of my self, and I could be on any part of the 'map' at any time. For example, right now I'm situated in the top third of the 'map,' hovering somewhere in the space between the blue and pink arcs, directly above the intersection where it turns into purple. My goal in life is to reach the bottom of the 'map,' and to live my life in that frame of mind and self. Who you are as an individual is more important than yr gender identity and any labels that might be used to describe it. How would you 'map' out YOUR gender identity, if you even care to do so, that is?)        

Well, thanks for reading. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions. Thanks.

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